Here on the UBS Casual, we undertake real, serious research. No, really! Stop laughing! As we search the galaxy for new experiences, we discover many things that are best described as “Things man was not meant to know”.

   Take, for example, our recent away mission to Waathe IV. The crew realized that the pools of toxic-looking green ooze that cover a large portion of the local beaches were instead filled with a naturally produced variant of toxic-looking green Jello shots.

   Here we see Commodore MacLaran studying the process whereby seawater is filtered by the surrounding rock, leaving only gelatin and alcohol. Meanwhile, the rest of the Away Team puts their sobriety on the line to perform a rigorous series of field tests.

   When the team returned to the Casual (after much delay), the data retrieved was used to produce the dangerous (and still experimental) Great Link Experience (soon to be open on RecDeck 20). Beta test positions are still available, sign up now.

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The Casual Observer

   Just an FYI, last week the colony of Relaxia was invaded. The 172nd Company (the “Probing Spears”) of the Eternal Empire of the Invincible Space Nazis landed their Dual-seat Battlecruiser, “The Raging Queen” at the shipyards. The “Spears” then proceeded to conquer Relaxia in record time.

   Pictures smuggled out at great risk show the vast might of the entire 172nd attempting to impose a sense of discipline in the crew. They left later the next day when they realized that few people even noticed them and the ones that did didn't take them seriously.

   Their departure was delayed by several hours due to an inability to locate their ship. Apparently Cmdr. Thomas' Orion Blockade Runner was parked in front of the “Raging Queen”, completely hiding it from the control tower.

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The Casual Observer