Members of the Casual's crew survey what once was a forest full of prime Gorthan Boozewood. An area measuring 15 square miles was razed last week after the accidental firing of R&D's new invention, the AlcoConverter.

   "Witnesses report that a party of visiting dignitaries form Gorth IV were touring (what passes for) the Science labs. The AlcoConverter was complete but had not been fully tested. One of the aides wandered over and pressed the big read button labeled "Big Red Button - Do Not Press".

   The AlcoConverter was designed for times of severe alcohol depletion on board the Casual. Using the ship's sensor array, it seeks out a source of raw alcohol and converts it to a fine potable beverage. The Boozewood tree is renowned for its ability to refine and store Gorthan Vodka.

   Luckily, no sentient lives were lost in the tragedy. Still the Commodores declared a moment of abject screaming to commemorate the loss.

   CAPT. Von Matic was heard muttering "Bunch of primitive screwheads" after the incident.

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The Casual Observer

   Yo!Woman! Cat enjoys a Hallucinodeck re-creation of the not-so-well loved children's fairy tale "Rose Red meets the Three Stooges".

   The story revolves around Rose Red, who eats a slice of watermelon from a batch of hairy buffalo mixed by her evil fairy stepgodmother. She falls into a stupor that lasts 42 hours. She wakes only when three bumbling but good hearted thieves break into her cottage an attempt to kiss her.

   After the police leave and the charges are dropped, she teams up with the would-be heroes to plot revenge. Hilarity and carnage ensues."

   Cat's review - "The intricate plot twists and the use of the color red as a metaphor for Rose's subconscious need for acceptance is masterful. However, the final death scene of the evil fairy stepgodmother was a trifle overdone. I'm no doctor, but I don't think the human body could contain 17 gallons of blood, do you?".

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The Casual Observer