Commodore MacLaren Officer's Log

(Log dated from MacLaren's duties as CMO)

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• This is my first log entry as Chief Medical Officer. I joined the crew of the Casual after serving for too many years in Starfleet. I decided that Starfleet's protocols and attitude were not nearly casual enough for me, so I resigned my commission and requested a posting on this fine ship. I realize that my duties aboard the Casual will be different that those aboard a Federation vessel, but the end result, making those aboard feel better, is the same.

• At the end of December, the Officers and Crew of the Casual will hold the Bajorran Sexual Gratification Festival on Deep Space Nine. We have rented the station for the celebration because the Casual is being repaired at Starbase 151 as the Warp Nacelles 10 year/ 10000 parsec warranty expired and most of the components failed. The celebration is just what the crew needs right now and I've taken it upon myself to assure that a good time is had by all.

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• Unfortunately, several Talarians were beamed aboard Deep Space Nine on the eve of the Festival without being screened for infectious agents. As a result, several of the officers and crew of the Casual, myself included, were afflicted with the Talarian Flu and were unable to attend the Festival. Those in attendance had a very good time even without some of their comrades. I have discussed with Dr. Bashir, DS9 CMO, our requirements for any future use of the station, so that this type of incident will not occur again.

• On a happier note, the 10 year anniversary of the Casual is coming on or about stardate 19603.15, and that celebration will be a Toga Party. Time and place still to be announced.

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• The 10th Anniversary Toga Party was my first official celebration as an officer of The Casual. During the festivities, Commodore Erickson was poisoned, and the Medical and Engineering staffs had to work quickly so that he could continue partying while his body was being cleansed of the poison. Using several of the technologies on board, we were able to create a Hallucinagenic Projection of the Commodore's body and integrated his neural pathways to the hallucinogram. The party continued as I fought the poison with Klingon Blood Wine in mass quantities. Soon after the party was over, I returned the Commodore to his repaired body to prepare for the next party.

• The Casual's next event will be the Klingon Beach Party (actualy held on a beach this year). The party will be Saturday, Stardate 19606.22. See you there...

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• The Klingon Beach Party was a success, even though there were no actual Klingons in attendance. I surgically altered Commander Havoc to resemble a Klingon, but it was not the same somehow... The Weiner Launcher 75 proved to be good in theory, but not in practice, as the first weiner flew only a few feet.

• The next scheduled celebration aboard the Casual will be a Come-As-You-Aren't Halloween Party. Check the Casual Page for details. Till next party, the dispensary is always open.....

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• The Come-As-You-Aren't Halloween Party saw many of the officers and staff of the Casual in a very different light than some are used to. Commodore Erickson was dressed as a resident of the Former American State of West Virginia. Commander Von Matic was dressed as "SuperDweeb". Commander Havoc was dressed as a Gothic World Domination Engineer. Lt. Dagar was dressed as a little school girl. I attended wearing the uniform of a Catholic Priest, pretty scary huh!!!

• The evening's festivities included Trout Spewing (the opposite of bobbing). Many of the helpless mini-trout were propelled at high velocity toward Lt. Commander Ogg, who dodged them most of the time. In the end, there were many mini-trout lost to the cause. The Casual's next event will be the Lazy Crew New Year's Eve Eve Party, and, as always, the Dispensary is open!

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• The New Year's Eve Eve Lazy Crew Party went well, so I'm told. You see, I was vacationing in Virginia and was unable to attend. I hear that a good time was had by all and that Beer Chess was a hit for those who played or watched.

• The Casual's Next Event will be Commodore Flynn's Retirement Party and will be held in March, see you there. I wonder which hapless Commander will be 'promoted' to Captain... Anyway, as always, the Dispensary is open!!!

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Executive Officer and Chief Medical Officer's Log

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• Well, as you probably guessed, I was the 'hapless' Commander promoted to Captain and given the awesome responsibility of both manning the various dispensaries onboard and remaining at my post on the bridge. Obviously, I need to get to work on a 'hallucinogenic' version of me to man either the main dispensary, or the bridge, depending on my mood. I'll talk to Fugit and the newly promoted Havoc and see what we can come up with...

• On another note, Governor Flynn's retirement party was fun. I particularly enjoyed the First Lady's "Kooshy Hair Contest", even though I didn't win. The semi-live images of the whole event went over pretty well, with only minor glitches. Hope to see everyone at the Yukon Jack U.B.S.Casual Room party at Marcon 32. I've been ranting enough for now, and, as always, the dispensary is open!!!

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• MarCon has never seen the likes of us. We soundly trounced the other competition in the room party contest, and managed to set off the hotel's fire alarm. I've never witnessed a more efficeint bar than the Darkyard Bar Staff. My thanks to all of them, for their hard work for the enjoyment of all present and to Yukon Jack, for the enjoyment of all present.

• After a few minor technical difficulties,(Doh, stupid hotel phone system!) we were able to broadcast the party most of the night. Thanks to CDR Fugit, we were able to defeat the primitive hotel phone system, and connect to the internet. CDR Havoc was busy most of the night painting the mostly nude body of a willing 'canvas'. Needless to say, this garnered the most attention of our varied guests.

• All in all, the party was a resounding success, and CMDRE Erickson and I are already negotiating for next year's sponsorship. At MarCon 33, we will only be better. Well, must go for now, see you at the Temporal Beach Party on 05 July, and the dispensary is open!

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Commodore Ian Angus MacLaren
Executive Officer 
(Sean R. Evans - srevans@en.com Euclid, OH)

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