Nifty Bar

Guest Boarding Procedure

The many technological innovations made by Casual engineers and discovered within our companion asteroid have made the simple act of coming aboard the Casual a veritable masterpiece of hospitality. Thanks to our boarding procedure, each guest is guaranteed an enjoyable experience.

The boarding procedure is handled by our ship's computer, the disembodied brain of former Athena CO Alden Talmain. Augmented by some seriously cool alien technology and the most advanced transporter system ever conceived, Alden is able to perform multiple modifications to the incoming guests while they remain within the pattern buffer. And thanks to our patented Escher inducers (linked in parallel with the standard Heisenberg compensators), we can even cause temporary changes to such things as age and weight.

As the transport procedure is initiated by the Casual, Alden insinuates his id into the mind of the individual within the matter stream. Alden then records vital information such as sexual preferences (gender, species, and kinks), chemical tolerances, fashion sense, credit history, and repressed fantasies. This data is fed into various subsystems for later reference. For example, the sexual preferences are used during Transporter Orgies to ensure that no guest suddenly materializes with an unacceptable partner. Further data is then compiled regarding which drinks will have what effects on the guest; in this way, any Casual passenger can go to any bar aboard and ask for a specific effect, rather than spend hours consuming different drinks until that effect just happens to result.

After the data collection routine, Alden next locates any weapons the guest might be carrying and suspends then in the beam. They will later be returned to the guest during departure.

Next on the list is a medical check. Along with the standard action of the Biofilters, Alden locates any active or dormant venereal diseases and eliminates them. (This service is provided free of charge to all Casual guests as a safety measure, and can be reversed upon departure for a modest sum.) Alden then renders the guest technically sterile, to avoid any unnecessary complications to our valued guests. Full sexual function is unimpaired by this procedure. (This service is provided free of charge to all Casual guests as a safety measure, and can be reversed upon departure for a modest sum.)

Finally, Alden asks the buffered guest what they would like to wear while aboard the Casual. He then takes the response and creates the requested clothing, which will replace the apparel the guest entered the transporter with. Again, the passenger's original clothes will be reformed during departure.

We believe that our boarding procedure is the most advanced in the Federation, and we hope that you will discover the amazing possibilities it provides first hand when you visit.

Nifty Bar

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